Acknowledging the temporary

Part Two: Living with Anxiety

In this post, I spoke about my personal journey with anxiety. In part two of this series, I will outline what I feel is useful to anyone wishing to learn how best to cope with an anxiety disorder. In my third, and final post in the series, I will speak to those wish to know how to approach, support, and love someone with anxiety.

First things first:

Disclaimer: *Please note this is a personal blog, and the opinions expressed are based on my experiences. They are not a substitute for professional medical help.

Do you have Anxiety?

Although you cannot be diagnosed via a blog post if anything contained herein resonates with you, it just might be worth bringing up with your doctor. It is okay to ask for help. 

Anxiety is a general term that covers a variety of conditions including, but not limited to:

• Panic Disorders 
• Social Anxiety Disorder, or Social Phobia
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder

I will be speaking to Panic Disorders, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but if you suffer from social anxiety, or another form of anxiety, please know there is help, and resources available. I've mentioned before that anxiety over stressful situations is normal. Anxiety over many things, every thing, or little things is not normal. Panic attacks that start in your heart centre and radiate until it consumes your whole body are not normal either. Those who have anxiety may come to feel as if their Generalized Anxiety Disorder is just who they are; and their panic attacks are just them "freaking out", or "blowing things out of proportion". 

Before I continue, I feel compelled to address the idea of "normal". It bothers me to use the term in this piece. Normal. Abnormal. It seems like such an absolute binary; a dichotomous divide of functioning/broken. That is not my intention. Normal can be defined from a sociological perspective, a psychological perspective, etc. What I hope my readers understand is I am not saying you are normal, or you are not normal, or abnormal. By normal, I simply mean this: replace normal with okay. It is not okay that you feel that way, or have panic attacks. It is not okay to have anxiety run your life. It is not turning to the person with anxiety and defining whether they are normal, or abnormal. At least for me, it is signalling that even if your whole life you have felt a certain way, and tell yourself it is okay, because you don't know any other way to be, it is not okay. You do not have to feel this way. You may not ever be able to completely banish anxiety symptoms from you life, but there are ways to manage, and cope.

The overall feeling of anxiety can be described as a lack of control. You feel unable to change the narrative in your head, or the way your body is reacting. You may be cognizant that you thoughts are irrational, or not in line with the situation, but you cannot seem to talk yourself out of the anxious thoughts, and feelings. One of the problems with anxiety is that often these symptoms I list below cause more anxiety. You become anxious about your anxiety. It seems like a vicious circle trying to convince your body you are okay, and not in danger.

I've put together a little chart of the common symptoms of anxiety:

I may no longer be working as a librarian, but it is not a hat that I can completely hang up. It is ingrained in my being when it comes to disseminating information to evaluate the source. What I have provided above is generally accepted fact about symptoms of anxiety, but it is in no way an in-depth analysis from a scientific, or medical perspective. There are many wonderful medical resources out there to help you on your journey of understanding Anxiety. From books by experts to wonderful online resources. I would put a caveat even with that however, and tell you to be sure when you are looking for medical information you check to see if it is from a verified source. By that I mean a recognized medical institution, an expert on the subject, or a support organization. Often .org websites are a good start. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask me in the comments!

Medically speaking:

If you believe you might have anxiety, one of the first things you should do is speak to a professional about treatment, especially if it is affecting your every day life. Your family doctor, or GP, a psychologist, or counsellor, are generally safe places to find help.

Often from a traditional medical perspective the options are:

• SSRIs (antidepressants) that are specifically formulated for anxiety
• Benzodiazepines both short-acting, intermediate, and long-acting sedatives. These are usually given in low doses. Short acting benzos help with panic attacks, and surges of anxiety. They are anti-anxiety drugs that act as muscle relaxers, and sedatives that help to suppress your system so that your mind and body become more relaxed, and calm. They also treat insomnia, and seizures.
• Psychotherapy, and/or CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) includes sessions with an accredited counsellor to discuss triggers, underlying reasons, and together coming up with tools to cope, and to better function with anxiety. 

Only you, and your healthcare specialist can formulate the best treatment option for you when it comes to drugs, and therapy. You may not require any of the above. You may only require one option. You may require all. That is okay if you do. This is not an exhaustive list, especially in terms of medications, but these are the most common treatment options. Personally, I've found help with benzodiazepines. 

I have used both Lorazepam (short-acting), and Clonazepam (long-acting). I have used Lorazepam off, and on, over the past few years. I prefer the sublingual (which means it dissolves under your tongue). It is helpful for the occasional spike in anxiety that you just cannot control that is quickly snowballing into panic attack. As they can be habit forming for some, they are prescribed with caution. As well, they become less effective with more usage. Your body becomes accustomed to them, and sometimes the dose needs to be upped. If you follow my blog you will know I spoke about an episode this past summer where I felt my anxiety spiral out of control. I was put on Clonazepam to help me cope, and to stop daily panic attacks.  I was told this was a short term solution, and I would agree. I came off of them a while ago. I am glad that I did. They were life-saving to me when I needed them, but slowly over time they started to build in my system, and in essence I was permanently slightly sedated. I no longer felt like me. It was time to come off them. I did, slowly, and the re-bound anxiety was scary. I knew from my research it would happen, but it still threw me for a loop. I got through it using more holistic methods. I now take my anxiety day by day, and assess my needs in the moment. 

Everyone is unique, and every person's journey with anxiety is as well. Finding what works works for you is key, and it may take some trial and error. I firmly believe that we are our best advocates, and that is why I feel why it is important to arm people with the knowledge necessary to have an open, and productive conversation with your healthcare provider. Know your options. 

Holistically speaking:

Taking a holistic, and spiritual approach to my anxiety has tremendously helped my healing journey. It has not cured my anxiety, and I don't think anything will ever completely vanquish my anxiety disorder. I have found that through mindfulness, I am able to diminish what used to feel like a beast of burden sitting on my chest to a small, annoying critter that will nibble at me every once in a while. That does not mean the beast does not show up for battle unexpectedly. I just feel more equipped now to handle any unwelcome attacks.

I know what works for me, and I will share that with you, but there are so many healthy ways to holistically deal with anxiety.

Mindfulness & Self-care

As I've touched on before, yoga and meditation have become cornerstones of my mental health well-being tool kit. Mindfulness is a way of life for me. Mindfulness is also a daily practice. I am not an enlightened being; I am a human who tries to choose mindful, and right actions as best I can for me, and for those around me. It has become crucial for me to take time for yoga, and meditation. This is what I consider my long-term treatments. Trying to remain centred. I like clearing my chakras, and releasing bad energy. I enjoy smudging my house with sage. I have many, many crystals scattered throughout my house. I have crystals in my purse. My Himalayan salt lamp is always on when I'm home.

I enjoy putting essential oils in my bathtub when I shower. I also enjoy long baths, and burning incense. These activities for me are self-care, and bring me general peace of mind. My spiritual side is important to me. Even if you are not into the spiritual aspect of these practices find a self-care routine that helps you feel calm. I have embraced this side of me, and wear it like a badge now. Out with the bad energy, and that which does not serve me. In with the new energy.

Self-care can be a warm cup of tea, and a good book. Self-care is not selfish. It is necessary. I cannot speak for all people with anxiety, but in my experience we tend to be more sensitive in nature. As children we are often the child who cares for the bullied. Cares for all the animals. We are empathetic. My mom was usually told by my teachers that I always seemed to know when someone needed a friend. That often means we are absorbing energy all the time. So it can be overwhelming to feel our own anxiety, and feelings, and that of others. This is why I cleanse. This is why I cut cords. We are all energy. We all exchange energy. Sometimes, self-care means tending to your own energy first. Anxiety can build when we worry too much about the expectations others have for us in the roles we play in their lives. The carer, the friend, the lover, the spouse, the colleague, the boss, the employee, the sibling. We need to take care of ourselves too.

If religion, and/or spirituality speaks to you, find mindfulness in your faith. If it does not, find mindfulness in right actions, and intent.

Exercise & Fresh Air

I cannot stress enough how important it is for me to be active. I must admit I was not always an active person. I didn't even really enjoy being active. It is something that I have adopted later in life. To me connecting with nature is one of the most healing things I can do for myself. A long walk on a cool (I love cold!), breezy day for me is everything. I love mountains, and streams, and oceans, and crunchy leaves. I love sandy beaches. I also love walking in a city. There really is a peace for me in the buzzing of a city. I find jogging brings me a lot of mental clarity. I have to focus on my breathing, and pace. That focus helps me clear my other thoughts. Whatever physical activity you enjoy best. Do that. The change of scenery will do you good. Get out of your office chair, and take a long, deep breath. Climb a mountain, walk along a path, or grab a coffee, and meander a busy street. 

Support

It is important to have people in your life who support you. If you think a support group would help you, seek out a support group and attend their meetings. Tell someone you trust that you have anxiety. Tell them what to look for, and how they can help when it happens. For example, do you keep Lorazepam in your purse? Just like a diabetic would tell someone signs to watch for if their sugar is low. There are signs you can tell your loved one to look for with anxiety, and panic attacks. This will also help with your relationships I find. It is much better to communicate with someone that you experience anxiety than to try to always hide your anxiety, or worry they can sense your anxiety, or sometimes act in a way that might baffle them. It does not mean you have to stand up, and announce to the world: I HAVE ANXIETY. No, only ever share what you want to with people. That said; NEVER feel ashamed. There is nothing to be ashamed of in having anxiety. This is important. 

Relax, and remind yourself – this is temporary

Getting up from your desk when feeling overwhelmed helps. Walk away from a situation that is bringing you from anxiety to panic attack. Now, we cannot avoid things that might make us anxious all the time. We cannot avoid medical tests, or other things that happen in life. What we can do is a lot of self-talk. Sometimes I even create a mantra: I am okay. I am safe. I am okay. I am safe. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

If you feel your mind is playing tricks on you, or your thoughts are out of control. Remind yourself of the reality best you can: are you really in danger? Is the situation as bad as you are imagining? Is the person you are thinking about really feeling that way about you? Our senses becomes exaggerated and heightened when we are anxious, and we need to be able to talk ourselves back to feeling safe. 

Often the fear, and the worry we are feeling is temporary. Whether you are worried about something you said three years ago, or something you need to do three months from now. You might not even know what has triggered a panic attack. They often come on unexpectedly. 

Breathe. First, and foremost. Breathe. Sit down, stop, relax. Remind yourself you are safe. Over, and over. Close your eyes, put your head between your knees. Whatever helps you. Listen to calming music. Listen to white noise. 

I love this gif I came across a while back. It is something I have used in times of need. There are also apps that are built around breathing exercises, and meditation. There are emergency meditations on these apps as well. Many of them are free, and great to use daily, and when needed. Breathing is a proven calming technique. This is why much of yoga focuses on the breath. This is why your teacher asks, are you still breathing? Learning mindful breathing can change your life. 

via GIPHY

I hope this post helps, and I hope that if anxiety affects your everyday life, than you may have a few more tools to help you. The most important thing to remember is: just breathe.